Sempai
by Remalna Marguerite
Summary: A short story about Amano and how he deals with Hitomi's dissapearance. It gets a bit convoluted, (i.e.) wordy...(LLPR... llpr.).


Disclaimer: Escaflowne is the product of Sunrise, Bandai © 1996 **__**

Sempai by Remalna Marguerite

Disclaimer: Escaflowne is the product of Sunrise, Bandai © 1996. 

A/N: This short story is affectionately dedicated to [Laine][1], my Amano [Migel and "Bob" ^_^] conspirator.

_____ 

The streets were empty of people and traffic; dawn had just broke, its faint rays of light dispelled the night. Households were still sleeping, and school would not open for a few hours more. He was alone, as alone as one could be in this world. The mornings were always calm and silent. Dewy moisture from the night still clung to the delicate blades of fresh, green young grass. He tilted his head back, long strands of chestnut-brown hair brushed against his school jacket, and he looked skyward. What had he hoped to see? 

"Kanzaki…" a soft whisper escaped his lips. But of course, she was not there. It felt like an eternity ago when they were together last. He recalled, nostalgically, the hesitant, nervous quiver in her voice when she had asked him for that kiss. He remembered her eyes, green orbs specked with gold and hazel, mesmerizing eyes, eyes that held the promise of friendship, compassion … and love. 

It was bittersweet self-torture to replay those last moments in his head, but he could not help it. Flashes of disconnected scenes ran through his mind…of him abandoning practice to go visit her at the infirmary. He had been so worried when he saw her falter in the middle of the race, then when she'd collapsed onto the ground, his heart had skipped a beat. 

She was so pretty. Soft lips, parted slightly in speech. They drew him to her, mesmerized him--he could not look away.

__

Eleven…twelve…thirteen.

Sempai.

…don't forget--

Take courage,

Don't let go of my hand.

Kanzaki…

Kanzaki!

Gone. 

Unconsciously, he curled his hands into tight fists and his face grew shuttered. The morning wind picked at his hair, tousling it forward into his eyes, masking them. He felt nothing, he was lost in the memory. _Is she safe somewhere, with that black haired boy? Why did it have to take her away like that? I never even got a chance to say good bye._

Doubt, a foreign emotion, threatened to overwhelm him. Frustrating questions that had no answers swarmed his mind. "I guess I didn't pull through for you at the critical moment," self-deprecating cynicism stained the clarity of his speech. Hitomi…forgive me, he said wordlessly. 

Perhaps it was just his imagination, or perhaps the wind was playing tricks with his hearing…but he could have sworn that she replied, somehow…somewhere, wherever she was.

She said his name, he was sure of it.

"Will you come back to us?" He inquired, blindly, fragile hope blurring his eyes, "will you return to me?" The air was still, and no matter how hard he strained his ears…he could not hear her voice once more.

A door banged open…

The engines of cars rumbled to life…

The day had begun.

_____

__

Dear Hitomi, 

Yukari and I went to see your mother this afternoon. She looked well, and seemed to know where you were. She told us that you were safe, that you were alright. I hope so. Are you happy though? 

I drove Yukari home afterwards. I think she looked pale. Did you know that she was upset whenever I try to talk to her about your disappearance? But I think seeing your mother helped her understand better. It's strange: before that day at the track, I'd never really noticed her before. Don't know why. Perhaps…

Perhaps…it was because, when you two were together…I… just didn't see her for herself. I was always watching you. Strange. I see her a lot more now. We walk to school together each morning, and walk back afterwards. During classes though, we've never really tried to seek each other out. Once, I did try to find her during second period lunch, but no one knew where she was. And then, suddenly, I felt this sickening sense of déjà vu and I feared that something had happened to her. Another column of light perhaps.

Paranoia, our psyche teacher would have said. 

Well. We're friends now, good friends I might even venture to say. Kind of like…you know how survivors of a plane crash, perfect strangers until the event, come to share a strong bond of companionship? And…sometimes, the feelings evolve into a sort of--.

But she was--

She was _your best friend. _

She is_ your best friend._

She cares deeply for you, as I do too, and we both worry much. And yet, when I see her sadness, when I see the shadows under her eyes, and the corners of her mouth drawn down so slightly, I am able to forget my own feelings and to help her get through it. 

My life has changed, I am changed. My perceptions of the world has changed. I used to think that dragons and dragonslayers could never have a place in reality. But now I know that's not true. And if mythic creatures can suddenly appear on the track field, well then anything is possible. Who knows what adventures the next day will bring? The uncertainty is an adventure in its self and makes life an interesting challenge. And you? Are you on an adventure of your own? I'm sure it's a marvelous one, and when you get back, you will entertain us for hours with your stories. We will sit together, the three of us, in the shade of a tree, talking until super time…

…I will never forget you, never. 

Good luck, Kanzaki, and safe journey,

With love, 

Amano.

~Fin~

A/N: I don't usually write stories like this, a success or a mega flop? The latter, IMO. -_-; Looking back, I can see that one of the major themes of the fic is guilt. Amano feels guilty because he wasn't able to save Hitomi--not his fault--but he thinks it is. Amano also feels guilty because he's attracted to Yukari, Hitomi's best. However, while the first half of the fic is pretty much angst, the second ended on a hopeful note. Hmm…at least, that's how I tried to write it -_-

Gatti, amie, I wish you a belated, but very happy birthday.

   [1]: http://www.virtue.nu/migel/



End file.
